My blog theme is “Life is not fair.” I feel this keenly on Mother’s Day. As long as I can remember, I have wished to be a mother. There are many women who would love to be mothers. Then there are others , like my very good friend who never wanted to be a mother. God has given her 2 dear boys and she has given of herself to be a very good mother to them.
Mother’s Day can be bittersweet even for mothers. There can be regret and heartache from choices made either by the parents or by their children. But God is there to comfort and heal.
For those of us who grew up in a loving family setting where our mother was the nurturing heart of the home, the dream was to be a mother some day. We cuddled our dolls and played house for hours. We dreamed of our future spouse. We named our future children. We planned our dream house.
But as life went on, to some of us, it became apparent that the dream was not going to play out the way we imagined it. We allowed ourselves to become bitter and blame God and others.
I was one of those well on my way to becoming bitter and resentful. But then one day I gave myself, my future, everything completely to God. I realized that He is in complete control and that if that was not in His will for me at this time it would do me no favours to be resentful and upset.
So I chose to pour out my mother love on my students, the children of my friends, and my nieces and nephews. And while I feel privileged to share in the lives of all of these little people, the ache is still there.. but so is God. I still hope I will have a family some day, but as I grow older there is a very real possibility that I will not have biological children and most of the time I feel like that’s okay.
How have you coped with the realization that life has not turned out like you dreamed? Maybe you realized your dream of being a mother and it’s not what you had imagined either. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Susie Fehr 